Questions!
Here we go, my very first question:
" Dr. Tony, I have a series of rashes around my ankles and wrists. I am kinda scared becuase I don't know where or why I might have contracted something. They burn really bad, and my wrists smell like cheese. Please Help." - J. Porter, 36
Dear J. Porter,
I don't know much but I do know that I hate cheese. I am repulsed by the mere mention of it. In fact just writing about it has cuased me to wretch all over my brand new doctor coat. And I am not just talking about one type of cheese, mind you, all kinds. In fact, I dislike anyone who says they do like the vile dairy product.
When I was a boy I used to dream of flying a space ship to a green cheese moon. I would get out collect samples. make nice with the inhabitants, then go about my business, and return to earth a hero. This was a recurring dream that kept me quite satisfied. Then one day my family and I traversed to Wisconsin on a day trip to a cheese factory. This trip would turn out to be a frightening nightmarish journey into a hell which I will not soon be free from.
We were on the tour and my family ventured to close to the cheese mixing device, whilst I wandered off to feed my fat little face with free cheese samples. Unbeknownst to me. my family or the factory, an ancient fault ran beneath and belched out an ancient belch. The ground rumbled and in my family fell, forever encased in chedder cheese. My family persished as I gorged myself. I was devasted and vowed to avenge them some day. I have devoted most of my doctor money to a foundation based on the belief that cheese is evil. Some say my anger is misdirected, or misguided. I should really blame the geological force of the faultline, cheese is yummy and my friend, earthquakes are the real culprit. I say Hogwash, and Balderdash!!!!!!!!!!
Below are some cheeses(wretch) that I detest:
Gross!
Barfffff!
Bletccch! Cartoon cheese is the worst!
So, I hope this helps J. Porter. Get some cream or something. Remember, I am just a goddammed puppet what the hell do I know? BOING!
" Dr. Tony, I have a series of rashes around my ankles and wrists. I am kinda scared becuase I don't know where or why I might have contracted something. They burn really bad, and my wrists smell like cheese. Please Help." - J. Porter, 36
Dear J. Porter,
I don't know much but I do know that I hate cheese. I am repulsed by the mere mention of it. In fact just writing about it has cuased me to wretch all over my brand new doctor coat. And I am not just talking about one type of cheese, mind you, all kinds. In fact, I dislike anyone who says they do like the vile dairy product.
When I was a boy I used to dream of flying a space ship to a green cheese moon. I would get out collect samples. make nice with the inhabitants, then go about my business, and return to earth a hero. This was a recurring dream that kept me quite satisfied. Then one day my family and I traversed to Wisconsin on a day trip to a cheese factory. This trip would turn out to be a frightening nightmarish journey into a hell which I will not soon be free from.
We were on the tour and my family ventured to close to the cheese mixing device, whilst I wandered off to feed my fat little face with free cheese samples. Unbeknownst to me. my family or the factory, an ancient fault ran beneath and belched out an ancient belch. The ground rumbled and in my family fell, forever encased in chedder cheese. My family persished as I gorged myself. I was devasted and vowed to avenge them some day. I have devoted most of my doctor money to a foundation based on the belief that cheese is evil. Some say my anger is misdirected, or misguided. I should really blame the geological force of the faultline, cheese is yummy and my friend, earthquakes are the real culprit. I say Hogwash, and Balderdash!!!!!!!!!!
Below are some cheeses(wretch) that I detest:
Gross!
Barfffff!
Bletccch! Cartoon cheese is the worst!
So, I hope this helps J. Porter. Get some cream or something. Remember, I am just a goddammed puppet what the hell do I know? BOING!
posted by Tony Sam at 10:17 AM
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