Wolf? Where!!!?

Ahhh! Well a pleasurable weekend was soiled last minute by some unwanted rain showers. Boo Hoo! Well it helped me stay on task in helping you less fortunates tend to your medical issues. Good news, folks! I have recently begun courting a beautiful Malibu Barbie.


I am at least 10 times her size, not made of hard plastic and people sure stare, but we are quite the happy couple. (as long as she doesn’t give me any lip hahahahah.)

Now, enough about me, your puppet M.D. lets get to you with the little boo boo.

Another doosie,

“Dear Dr. Tony,
My mom took sick with a wolf bite she received when we was out hunting squirrels with my new paint rifle. You should see the ways they little asses explode into neon colors when we shoots at ‘em. So, we was out and a wolf came by and bit up my mom real bad. I was able to kick the wolf to death with my boots but not before it hurt my mom real bad. Well, she got the fever something fierce and I was wondering what I need to do in orders to make the pain subside. Our town fissishawn says the only way to cure her is to starve that fever. He wrapped her all up with some band aids he had, but I haven’t fed her in days so the sick will go away, but she is getting real crazy. Please help. – C. Bumpkin, 16 ”

Holy Smokes! Wolves are scary creatures, they look like big ugly dirty dogs, and I personally would shoot one on sight. I watch a lot of television and movies and I wouldn’t want to be bit by a werewolf. I wonder how you can tell the difference? I say, let the cop killas fly and sort ‘em out later. MmmmHmmm. I think there has been only one really good werewolf movie that I would recommend to a friend. That would be the Howling. Scary business. O.K. maybe Wolf with Jack Nicholson was good too.
I like when he pees on the guys shoes and says, “I’m just marking my territory.” Hardy Har har Laugh, Laugh. The first one made with Lon Chaney Jr. was kinda dumb, It looked like he just turned into a really mad guy with a crazy beard and a bad hair cut.

" arghh! I am so mad gimme back my two bits for this hair cut!"

I wish I could turn into an animal sometimes., like a bird or a snake. Maybe a bird-snake. I could slither and fly, and then I would show the world...show everybody. I digress. Why don’t African-Americans ever become werewolves? There are black vampires, like Blade,
"Karate chop!"

and the baddest mofo to ever suck the red, Blacula.
"Shut yo mouth! " You say Horrifying, I say racist. He gets killed by "The Man".

So Mr. Bumpkin I say go and get some silver bullets and watch your back. Good luck to you, and remember I am just a goddam puppet what the hell do I know. BOING!