Fraternity Woes
Long time no talk! I just got back from a long vacation in the tropics and i am ready to start helping you again. My little hands are sore from the hot sun but that is my burden. Let's get to it!
Dear Dr. Tony,
My name is rick and I am a real badass, you dig? I am a 3rd year senior at a local university and I am in a fraternity. I am kinda a dickhead too.
I have tried and tried but now matter how hard I do no one wants to give me the secret handshake when I am out at a eatin place or local waterin hole. I will go up to someone and tug on my shirt collar, then we initiate some awkward dialog, but then it turns out they were never in a frat and I look like a muther fuckin muther fucker.
I can’t sniff out a fellow brother like I used too. I wish I had gaydar but for other frat brothers. I am not gay or nuthin if that’s what yur thinking that would be gayballs.
I often have nightmares about the way I was hazed. Previous therapy sessions told me to re-enact the traumatic events. The only problem is , I can’t find 8 other guys to do the elephant walk with me.
So if you know how I can shake this behavior I would sure appreciate it, cause I just want to be a normal person.
Rick Doushbag, 23 Moline.
I certainly do!
Firstly for those of your who don’t know what an elephant walk is. It where you and a group of guys disrobe and grab each others dicks and then walk in a circle. Did you know that the greeks still do it to this very day. Well did you?
You know I have played my fair share of parlor games myself Rick. I like to get a few of my old puppet pals together and we will play a little soggy biscuit well into the wee hours of the night.
It’s real fun unless you’re the piece of shit who has to eat the cracker.
Ha ha ha.
That’s not all we do. You know people think Puppet doctors just like throwing wine and cheees parties with their stuffy puppet doctor friends.
Not the case. We play all sorts of crazy games like who can shit the most in a bucket, or whose balls weigh more, you know real kiddie stuff.
One time we played a gamed where we would throw rocks at each other until someone cried out CORNOCOPIA!!!!!!!!!, you know, the safe word. And then we took a broomstick and broke it off in that crybaby’s ass.
So rick, its totally ok to feel scared and afraid sometimes. Hell...I am scared right now. Whoah!!!!!
I don’t even remember what we were talking about. Oh yeah. You were in a fraternity.
What a turdburglar.
Good luck Rick!
Sincerely,
Dr. Tony
P.S.
Remember. I am just a goddam pupptet what the hell do I know hahahahahah eah
Dear Dr. Tony,
My name is rick and I am a real badass, you dig? I am a 3rd year senior at a local university and I am in a fraternity. I am kinda a dickhead too.
I have tried and tried but now matter how hard I do no one wants to give me the secret handshake when I am out at a eatin place or local waterin hole. I will go up to someone and tug on my shirt collar, then we initiate some awkward dialog, but then it turns out they were never in a frat and I look like a muther fuckin muther fucker.
I can’t sniff out a fellow brother like I used too. I wish I had gaydar but for other frat brothers. I am not gay or nuthin if that’s what yur thinking that would be gayballs.
I often have nightmares about the way I was hazed. Previous therapy sessions told me to re-enact the traumatic events. The only problem is , I can’t find 8 other guys to do the elephant walk with me.
So if you know how I can shake this behavior I would sure appreciate it, cause I just want to be a normal person.
Rick Doushbag, 23 Moline.
I certainly do!
Firstly for those of your who don’t know what an elephant walk is. It where you and a group of guys disrobe and grab each others dicks and then walk in a circle. Did you know that the greeks still do it to this very day. Well did you?
You know I have played my fair share of parlor games myself Rick. I like to get a few of my old puppet pals together and we will play a little soggy biscuit well into the wee hours of the night.
It’s real fun unless you’re the piece of shit who has to eat the cracker.
Ha ha ha.
That’s not all we do. You know people think Puppet doctors just like throwing wine and cheees parties with their stuffy puppet doctor friends.
Not the case. We play all sorts of crazy games like who can shit the most in a bucket, or whose balls weigh more, you know real kiddie stuff.
One time we played a gamed where we would throw rocks at each other until someone cried out CORNOCOPIA!!!!!!!!!, you know, the safe word. And then we took a broomstick and broke it off in that crybaby’s ass.
So rick, its totally ok to feel scared and afraid sometimes. Hell...I am scared right now. Whoah!!!!!
I don’t even remember what we were talking about. Oh yeah. You were in a fraternity.
What a turdburglar.
Good luck Rick!
Sincerely,
Dr. Tony
P.S.
Remember. I am just a goddam pupptet what the hell do I know hahahahahah eah
posted by Tony Sam at 7:51 PM
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