Rock Out with your *&^% Out!
Dr. Tony Wassup?
I don’t start letters with the word Dear, because I’m not some Queerhound. My name is Jeb Steel, and I’m a roadie for one of the hottest upcoming Industrial Metal bands in the the world, SNARFHUSTLE. I like to call them the SNARF, or when I am really tired or in a hurry it’s SH. Which lead me to call them SHITHEADS when I was pissed off at them , but that is very rare my friend.
So, me and this sound and light tech were experimenting with this drug called The Slap, it is a super upper, like speed, but faster, way faster, like greased lightning!
So we are pushing each other around having a real time with the drugs and what-not right before the show and then we realize that time has just flown by and we have to start the show. So I am all fucked up and seeing rainbows and I decide I am going to watch my friend in action at the board.
So the SNARF is really kicking some major Fuckin’ ass on stage when the Slap starts taking effect and my buddy is going fuckin crazy at the board hitting switches and pulling levers, it was A-fuckin’ mazing. Now he is a big dude, and at this point is sweating like a fucking tropical rainstorm multiplied by eight thousand million or something. He goes to touch the board with his fat sweaty sausage fingery drenched hand and BOOM! His piggy fat body gets electrocuted and starts on fire! Now I am freaking out because I am so screwed up I see this big round rainbow man on fire so I try to save him by putting him out with a stream of my own hot rainbow piss. I pull out my pink guitar, and let her rip, and Then I get electrocuted, cause a current from the board travels up the stream of piss to my ding dong. The crowd gets even more crazy now ‘cause they think it’s all part of the show, and the SNARF is having like the greatest show ever. The whole place bursts into flames. Over 230 people parished in the hell blaze, the SNARF get out unharmed, but my friend is now a baked potato. The worst part of this whole mess, is my junk has now got bad burns on it. What do I do to keep it from falling off like a brittle overcooked banana?
Cool,
Jeb Steel
P.S. I can send you some Snarfhustle Tapes!
Dear Mr. Steel
You sound like you live quite a life filled with drugs and booze and I am sure, ladies! I’m also sorry to hear about your friend. Next time consider using the appropriate fire extinguisher instead of urine to put out the blaze.
The best concert I ever went to was The Grateful Dead. They are no SNARFHUSTLE I’m sure, but they knew how to party! DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS! “Riding that train, High on Cocaine!” Yeah! I used to love that cocaine, before I went to Doctor school. I used to get so much on my face I would look like Santy Clause. HO! HO! HO!
This is the season of giving and I want to give you some advice. If you mix uppers and downers you will go on a rollercoaster ride of senses man, and that “ain’t” no joke Jack!
Put a little Vitamin E on your genitals, and soak soak soak them in Epsom.
Happy Jolidays!
Dr. Tony
I don’t start letters with the word Dear, because I’m not some Queerhound. My name is Jeb Steel, and I’m a roadie for one of the hottest upcoming Industrial Metal bands in the the world, SNARFHUSTLE. I like to call them the SNARF, or when I am really tired or in a hurry it’s SH. Which lead me to call them SHITHEADS when I was pissed off at them , but that is very rare my friend.
So, me and this sound and light tech were experimenting with this drug called The Slap, it is a super upper, like speed, but faster, way faster, like greased lightning!
So we are pushing each other around having a real time with the drugs and what-not right before the show and then we realize that time has just flown by and we have to start the show. So I am all fucked up and seeing rainbows and I decide I am going to watch my friend in action at the board.
So the SNARF is really kicking some major Fuckin’ ass on stage when the Slap starts taking effect and my buddy is going fuckin crazy at the board hitting switches and pulling levers, it was A-fuckin’ mazing. Now he is a big dude, and at this point is sweating like a fucking tropical rainstorm multiplied by eight thousand million or something. He goes to touch the board with his fat sweaty sausage fingery drenched hand and BOOM! His piggy fat body gets electrocuted and starts on fire! Now I am freaking out because I am so screwed up I see this big round rainbow man on fire so I try to save him by putting him out with a stream of my own hot rainbow piss. I pull out my pink guitar, and let her rip, and Then I get electrocuted, cause a current from the board travels up the stream of piss to my ding dong. The crowd gets even more crazy now ‘cause they think it’s all part of the show, and the SNARF is having like the greatest show ever. The whole place bursts into flames. Over 230 people parished in the hell blaze, the SNARF get out unharmed, but my friend is now a baked potato. The worst part of this whole mess, is my junk has now got bad burns on it. What do I do to keep it from falling off like a brittle overcooked banana?
Cool,
Jeb Steel
P.S. I can send you some Snarfhustle Tapes!
Dear Mr. Steel
You sound like you live quite a life filled with drugs and booze and I am sure, ladies! I’m also sorry to hear about your friend. Next time consider using the appropriate fire extinguisher instead of urine to put out the blaze.
The best concert I ever went to was The Grateful Dead. They are no SNARFHUSTLE I’m sure, but they knew how to party! DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS! “Riding that train, High on Cocaine!” Yeah! I used to love that cocaine, before I went to Doctor school. I used to get so much on my face I would look like Santy Clause. HO! HO! HO!
This is the season of giving and I want to give you some advice. If you mix uppers and downers you will go on a rollercoaster ride of senses man, and that “ain’t” no joke Jack!
Put a little Vitamin E on your genitals, and soak soak soak them in Epsom.
Happy Jolidays!
Dr. Tony
posted by Tony Sam at 5:44 PM
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